If you’re looking for a post about some miracle body makeover I’ve been able to make at the gym, you’re looking in the wrong place.  If you’re looking for some magic workout that will allow you to have the perfect body, you’re also in the wrong place.  I’m not really the type that likes to stare at myself in the mirror and continually tell myself how perfect I look like half the guys at the gym.  Don’t lie….you’re out there….I see you every day.

I go to the gym to try not to die the next time that I go out to run farther than I ever really should.  Right now, that day is January 10th, 2009 at the Disney Half Marathon.  So I head off that way after work most days to do my thing and try to feel a little less bad about my generally out-of-shape self.  I have found however that, instead of large amounts of muscle mass, I have gained a few things in my time at the gym.

1. Pain - This is the part that I’ve never really been able to figure out about the gym.  I mean, I can sit on my couch and feel no pain at all.  Maybe I’m just weird in the fact that I don’t enjoy pain all that much, but there sure seems to be a lot of it at the gym.  Of course, this time around, I’m doing my best to minimize the pain and make sure that I’m still able to walk by the time the race comes in January.  So maybe more than just gaining pain at the gym, I’m gaining the ability to manage the pain.

Though I still think that all of you that enjoy the pain that you cause yourself at the gym are just a little bit strange.

2. Relief - I’ve found that the gym is a great way to forget about things that are bothering you, or just forget about some things in general.  It’s been a great way for me to forget about the stresses of that day at work.  Instead of just going home and dwelling on them, I get the chance to leave them at the gym and not have to worry about them until the office the next day.

It also seems to be a good way to forget about some of the more important things in life.  Prime example: A couple of days ago, I went to the gym with a friend.  After stopping by my house to grab some shoes for him to run in, he offered to drive and we headed off towards the gym.  Unfortunately, the premise of the gym allowed me to forget that, without driving, I didn’t have the garage door opener to get into my house.  And with my car in the garage, so was my key to the house.  Thankfully someone else with a key to my house also happened to be at the gym……problem solved.

3. Fear - There are a few things in the world that I can do without having to ever see, but that list is slowing expanding thanks to the locker room at the gym.  And not so surprisingly, most of the new additions to the list involve naked men in the locker room.

I understand it’s a locker room and that you have the need to change before/after working out, but can’t you at least just change and then go on to the rest of your locker room routine?  I don’t need to see you casually wandering the room, chatting on your cell phone, weighing yourself on the scale, walking to the bathroom, and then finally heading towards the shower.  I’m pretty sure most of those things can be done fully or, at the very least, partially clothed.  But then there are some things that just shouldn’t happen.

Why do you feel the need to run a couple of circles around the locker room completely naked?  I mean, seriously, put on some shorts and find a treadmill……please.  Secondly, it’s cool that you haven’t seen someone you know in awhile, even if you happen to run into them in the shower.  But the repeated hugs and handshakes and lengthy conversation can probably also wait until you have some clothes on.  Maybe I’m just weird for thinking so, but nevertheless, the gym has added the element of fear to my life every time I head for the locker room.

And by far the best thing that I have gained from heading to the gym on most days…….

4. Laundry - I hate laundry.  I absolutely hate laundry.  Well, I take that back.  I have nothing against putting clothes in the washer.  I’ll even venture to say that I have nothing against taking clothes out of the washer and into the dryer.  But at that point, the process breaks down a little (read: completely).  I’m pretty much a professional at leaving clothes in one of three places once the laundry process is complete:  On top of the dryer, on the floor or in the dryer.  So let’s clarify; I hate folding clothes.

I’ll even admit to having bought new clothes just to go a couple of days longer without having to do laundry.  But in the end, this has really only worsened the issue.  I can go for about two months on the clothes I have without even thinking about having to do laundry.  I can probaby stretch it to a third if I start getting creative.  So by the time I think to do laundry, the task of getting it all done is just pretty much overwhelming and impossible.

This is the point I’ve found myself at for the past couple of months.  I pretty much wash the same 4 or 5 shirts and pants over and over again so that I can go to work in somewhat clean clothes.  But fear not!  The gym is slowly solving this issue.  Every day when I come home from the gym, I throw my dirty gym clothes in the washer and add in enough of my other dirty clothes to make a full load.  Then before bed, I throw them in the dryer.  When I wake up in the morning, I grab the clothes and dig through to repack my gym bag and fold the other clothes in the process.  There we go; one load closer to getting my clothes clean.

Now if only I’d stop putting the folded clothes in a pile on the floor.  Have to start somewhere I guess.